{teach you how to drink.}

the night always slows down
to an internal rumble
between every thought

i am slowly ceasing
with every cigarette
and the bottle bleeds within me now
around four o'clock

it seems
i want it so badly
to continue making efforts
towards not existing

forget to weep
sleep in silence

but before the inevitable crumble into dreams
i make a bed of booze
and write down little saying
wonder where the phrases come from

the men try to take my things
i walk away disappointed
wanting them to have bloodied me up
leave me as less than i was before we met
give me something to suffer for
i make the best things when i am sad

we speak
and i always say too much
as i've been drinking
been downing the bottles again
even when in poverty i cling
to the stink
and think to myself
i haven't had enough tonight
to please my sorry heart
there is much to be done

and as i said
i loved you still
even when you woke
to the differences within yourself
i loved each one
and every thought
all the sadness that you uttered
in your moments
next to me in bed and drunk
you taught me how to drink
but only after absence