What I hate most about this town is the constant retelling of stories. I do it, I know. But I'm trying not to/stopping. I think I've heard at least fifty times this week that some kid hung himself. Actually he lived down the street from me, and I drove by when all the firetrucks and ambulances were there. The whole ordeal just generally makes me angry. How selfish. But the thing that bothers me the most is that after his mom found his body, she went to the coach that had sent him home for dipping, and told this coach that he had killed her son. Now, I know if that were to happen to me, I would certainly freak, however, how could you tell an individual that they were the means that killed someone. Honestly, the kid signed a contract agreeing he would refrain from using any tobacco products. The other weird thing is, that before this kid went to practice, he asked the girl's baseball, or softball rather, team if they could tell he had chew in his mouth. They said yes, he said good. I just don't think this is a case where people can say, "Oh, if only he hadn't been sent home from baseball practice." or "If only people would have noticed his plight." I think this kid wanted to die, and he wanted to be noticed. It's one of those deals where you say to yourself, "I'm going to kill myself, then everyone will notice." But your dead anyway, so you don't get to witness the drama and revenge. Whatever, I'm upset and sorry he died, but what a selfish a.sshole. Seriously. It infuriates me. But what I have learned from all this is that the body is a vessel. It is a temporary thing. The kid that killed himself, his vessel is useless, he no longer resides in it. I almost went to look at him during his wake. Just to see the body of a stranger, who meant nothing to me. That sounds creepy. But when the deceased is someone you don't have that emotional bond to, it's easy to identify that it's just a body, and no one is using it anymore. Weird weirdness.
On a lighter topic, someone told me the other day that I act very dignified. I took it as a compliment. I suppose I do have a certain aura about me that could be seen as that. Not conceded however. I'd like to be seen as a humble, dignified person. That would be nice.