today feels like a fucked up day, but in relation to me, really hasn't been at all. it just feels that way, like most days. like i'm doing something wrong again. like i am a huge waste, and am being an inefficient machine. which i suppose i am being right now. not doing much, or really what i should be. push. i'll get it all straightened out soon. soon enough. i need to fix it. i need to be what i know i am. i am not original. i mean that. and i don't care. it's fine. i haven't thought something that no one else has thought. i don't look new. no one does. my love isn't special. but all of these things are still here, and i'm not denying them. i am being a waste right now however. not doing myself any favours in this state. we shall see.

drab. drab. drab.


today is dreary to me. it is hot. and these words hold no relevance to anything. which is fine i guess. it's okay to write about nothing as long as i recognize it. the thing is, i don't have anything to say. i have things i need to do. and i haven't gotten around to them yet. i should do that. i want beer. i want to drink beer now. okay. done.