today feels like a fucked up day, but in relation to me, really hasn't been at all. it just feels that way, like most days. like i'm doing something wrong again. like i am a huge waste, and am being an inefficient machine. which i suppose i am being right now. not doing much, or really what i should be. push. i'll get it all straightened out soon. soon enough. i need to fix it. i need to be what i know i am. i am not original. i mean that. and i don't care. it's fine. i haven't thought something that no one else has thought. i don't look new. no one does. my love isn't special. but all of these things are still here, and i'm not denying them. i am being a waste right now however. not doing myself any favours in this state. we shall see.