4:55 am.

Tomorrow is a Saturday. So, I'm reading a lot of things I wrote two years ago, in my old blog, and it's so strange. I remember everything I wrote about, every topic, but I don't really remember the emotions that went along with those words. I just feel so nostalgic about those times. I almost miss them. I feel like I have nothing now. No controversy, no beginnings. Maybe it's because I was just such an absolute dreamer then, that I felt I could do or be anything. Now, reality has taken its toll and I won't ever feel that life is suspenseful. I don't know. Maybe I've just been the same to long. Things need to change and so do I. I should shave my head and just leave everything behind. But I can't really do that now. The resentment I had towards my parents it gone. They have become vulnerable people. If I left them now or soon I would always feel the guilt of that decision waying on my shoulders. Yeah, this makes me really miserable. I hate it here. I need some sort of release. I need to be pacified.

5:04 am.