Mmmm, yes. I'm at school. I should be in class, but instead in writing on the computer. It's like I'm in high school again. Skipping class all the time. Um, yes, so I had this dream last night that I was modeling. Weird. But it was interesting. They wanted me to wear these shoes, but I didn't like them and didn't want to wear them, so I put on my notorious flip-flops I always wear. Then I realized I didn't have any makeup, and everyone else had, and was wearing lots of makeup. So I felt ugly, not ugly, but not enhanced, and out of place. And I never got to walk down to catwalk either. I think it had something to do with me vs society. Lately, I've been sort of feeling out of place, but not in a bad way, in a comfortable and easy going, that's how you're going to live and this is how I am going to live sort of way. I don't wear makeup, I can't say never, because I do sometimes. It's usually because I think it's a form of artistic expresion, or, and I hate so say it, because I feel like covering something up, and looking pretty like everyone else. I don't know what happened to me this summer, but I just don't care anymore. I'm almost perfectly content with myself. Ya, I'm overweight, and I know if I tried hard enough I could do something about it, but I personally love food. I'm not glutenous, I just like food a lot. It's tasty. I have never felt this way in my entire life. I can't say that I remember not caring about my appearence. I always, for as long as I can recall, have hated myself tremendously, the way I look, act and my figure. But I don't care anymore. And I never really eased out of that mentality, it just changed on it's own, and I'd really like to know how and why. It's odd. That someone like me, me knowing how I am and the many complexes I've attained over the years, namely through my mother, (I love her, but she instilled some of these self-destructive thoughts into my head, that is not to say she didn't give me lots of wisdoms, because she did.) could just not care anymore. Someone who breathed depression and self-hate. I don't understand. But the fact of the matter is, I don't care. And I think I'm simply at a comfortable mean. I don't think I'm stunning or ravishingly beautiful, but I'm not ugly, and beyond all of that, I don't care. That isn't to say I've become some smelly, dirty hippy, but I see what's important in life, and there are far more important things and I. Not to mention what I look like, and what clothes I wear, and if I have the right shade of eyeshadow to excentuate my green eyes and simotaneously bring out the color of my hair and the tone of my lipstick. Ha... Anyway, I was just thinking. Back to go break all the things I've made this semester.