Today at work I was really questioning whether or not I care about dying. I know that I sort of do, but at the same time, why? What can I avoid, or figure out before it happens. Nothing. So, if I was going to die, I don't think I would do anything about. Just let it happen. Maybe that's a lie. I can't tell. Trying to be logical and realistic, but I just can't. I'm so frusterated. I feel so alone in my thoughts and I don't understand them and neither does anyone else. I can't take this anymore. It's really driving me out of my fucking mind. When I end every day feeling like the only person in the world it gets depressing. And all I want is something new, or too at least loose my mind for real. That would settle it! Fuck!! The only person in the world.