2.12.2004

Augh. I'm kind of at this point at the moment where I'm thinking, "How did this happen again..." This being procrastination. I thought we were sort of through Procrastination! I'm like the abused girlfriend, always running back to what never does me any good. That being procrastination. It's been a good day, it's just now, at 1 am, when I'm realizing that I need to have a paper written tomorrow. I don't know what it's about. So there really isn't anything I can do... It's a group project you see. And group projects and I do not get along. So, I don't know what everyone else in my group is doing. Because, although I called them, they didn't call me until about 7 pm this evening. They live in Toledo. I don't know where. She just left a message telling me to "stop over." I don't blame them. It's me who's at fault here. For being a stupid, slack-ass. I suppose I've been somewhat busy, but I certainly could have found the time if I had tried hard enough. So I guess we'll see how this one plays out. Life is just one adventure after another in the wonderful world of Megan. Ehh, I don't know. Anyway, I know what I'm gonna do, it just a matter of whether it correlates to everyone else's, and if not, will the teacher care. Today I was in fact busy, I had class, went to Lima, and did a radio show. However, the only thing I really truly had to do was go to class. But I'd been planning this Lima thing for weeks, and didn't want to let a friend down, slash, I wanted to go a lot. We went to Lima to go to this fine dining experience. Her dad does these fund-raisers where he cooks exquisite food, and we watch a movie. Fun. Well, to an extent. The food was great, but the atmosphere was less than refreshing. For instance, it was just a bunch of chochy richy riches and their fancy clothes. No ethnic diversity to be seen, just a large group of pretentious white people talking about their money bags. I mean for real, it was weird and uncomfortable. My father works in Lima now though, so her was there. He is the director of this exhibition hall called "Artspace," which is pretty damn cool, but my parents aren't anything like the people I met tonight, and oh man, am I grateful. The group we were sitting with was a couple, and this friend of that couple. Then my parents and my friend. To describe the couple: Older man, maybe just fifty, and she was beautiful and maybe thirty. Love? Unlikely. He's a very rich man, and she was probably the high school nerd. She never laughed at his jokes, and from what I remember, didn't really talk to him at all. He made a few comments, it was awkward. The other man: He lives in Las Vegas, from Minnesota. A doctor of sorts. Comes to Lima about every month. Why? Not sure. I think him and the lady are having an affair. Just speculation. Anyhow, this man was a key expert in the OJ Simpson trial. He apparently is the man at the hospital who tells families that their loved ones are dead. So, the court asked him if OJ's grief response to his wife's death was believable or not. Blah blah blah. The three start talking about when the verdict was about to be passed the rooms in which everyone watched the verdict (on TV) were segregated. And as the innocent verdict was passed the African Americans all nodded, while everyone else gasped. They thought this was well, disgusting. And the pretentious white people across from me shook THEIR heads. Luckily, my mom piped up and made a good point about the bigger picture of things. That of which being, the pigeonhole that society places on minorities, and to not see a black man given the guilty sentence was the issue. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, yes. These people I sat with tonight have never in their lives witnessed poverty. Mommy and Daddy sent them to college and bought their cars and their clothes and their whatever the fuck. That pisses me off. Not that I never had these luxuries, but because they are so ignorant. They've never known what it's like to be just scraping by. To have to do rich people laundry and pull their weeds and do their dishes in order to live. They told my friend, who's father was the chef of the evening, that it must have been nice having such a chef for a father, all these good meals all the time must have been lovely as a child. To which she responded that no, she hadn't enjoyed these things because they didn't have any money. She ate soup from a can and pretzels. What!? I don't understand. Per-ret-zeeleh??? What is this thing you speak of? Yeah, to put it plainly, they didn't get it. Whatever, these are the people who will run our country. These prisses of society. It makes me want to puke. But on a lighter note, I got to be a radio personality tonight. My friend has a show, and asked me to join. Much fun was had. There was even a moment of accidental dead air, so she made me just bullshit for about twenty seconds. I made up this story about wearing a winter coat and flip-flops, and being made fun of, but how I'm a hypocrite because I detest tank-top sweaters. But I never got to finish the story. I said, "Because," and the song started. And I got to picks songs out, too. I picked a song from the Royal Tenenbaums, and Wesley Willis, and The Dead Kennedy's, and I don't know if there was anything else. But it was fun, nonetheless. So, I'm going to go to bed now, but one last story first. So, I'm crossing the street yesterday, it's dark, I'm crossing Wooster, heading down Main. The little man comes up on the screen, and tells me it's time to walk, so I do. I'm walking, listening to my headphones, thinking per usual. Red car. Turning. Towards me. Fast. Screeches on the breaks a foot away from me. I just look at the lady. She looks at me. I keep walking. The weird thing about that story is I didn't flinch. I didn't even bat an eye. I don't understand. I just kept walking. I saw her coming, and just kept walking. So, I suppose it was partially my fault, but inadvertently. Just as much as it was her's. Weird. I just kept on walking. She could have plowed me. Just kept on walking. I just wasn't even thinking about it. I thought she would stop. She didn't, kept walking. I didn't give her a dirty look or the finger. I don't see what that would have achieved. It was just strange. So now it's time for bed.

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