before we went to the grocer's


we sat in your antique, overgrown backyard
having a smoke.
everything there was dying or dead,
even us.
the grass had turned brown.
we sat on the mossy, cement blocks of the fountain
that was too old to care to work,
and had been faded by the sun
and stained by rain water.
a metal, mesh fence separated
our lives from those
of the brightly and scantily-clad
girls next door
having a pool party.
blond with big breasts,
they danced.
ponytails defying gravity,
they danced.
mid drifts and slender legs.
what disgusting fun.

we gazed quietly.
judging silently.
and a girl took off her top
displaying an unnatural chest.
nonchalantly astonished,
and i couldn't understand what she was saying.
i stood
in an attempt to make out
what she was saying,
but her face turned jet black,
and she puckered her lips.
feeling the frown and wrinkled brow,
i walked away.

we moved inside
as your father took a picture,
and i made up faces for people
i haven't met yet.
in the wink of an eye.
we're upstairs.
everyone is here.
all male.
all staring
out the window at midday
at the girls swimming outside.

i sat in the corner
watching you stare,
silently judging still.
so silent and confused,
but in my mind
your eye was always wandering,
so i sit with the thoughts I don't have.

"we decided it was the only interesting thing to look at,"
your voice rang and echoed in my head.
eyebrows raised, i grinned, still speechless.
white walls.
you sat with me.
for a while.