I heart The Daily Show. I also heart strange John Kerry parties where I don't know anyone, but there's lots and lots of alcohol. Some of which I'm drinking right now. Good ole MD 20/20 that I found in my bag this morning and thought, "...Oh yeah." Man, I feel like it's the end of the world, but still feel like everything is the same. I love The Daily Show, it is great, why are these people so funny!? It's a gift. Oh man. I feel incredibly gross today, rather, I should feel that way, and don't, but I'm sure I look disgusting. OHOHOHOHOH!!!! There's a preview for The Life Aquatic on the TV!!! I'm so excited about that. I want to see I Heart Huckabees, too, and Sideways. And there's this new show called Huff, with Hank Azaria (sp?) and Oliver Plat. I love them so. AND a ton of movies with Jude Law, which, good or not, is great because he is ever so attractive. Yes! I feel like there are some good movies coming out. I love movies. I love. I love. I love. I wish everyone loved as much as I did, and loved the things that I love, or could at least understand them. I'm almost positive that absolutely no one in this city understands me, or can make heads or tails of where I'm coming from half the time. Man. That's unfortunate. On Tuesday my pop culture class was in the library, and when it came time to leave I didn't know where my professor was, and the whole class was still there, so I didn't know what to do. I approached this table of people and said very softly, "Um... hey..." And this tough guy with braces who talks just like my cousin George grunted, "WHAT." It was really weird and awkward, so I stumbled over words and asked them if they thought we could leave. Brace face said something like, "oh yeah, I'm sure that's fine." I apologized for interrupting and he said it was okay. As I walked away they were completely quiet, and when I was about 15 yards away they started cracking up. I thought to myself, "they're laughing at me... awe..." I told Lauren and we decided that I should have turned around, and in a very dull voice said, "You're laughing at me. Aren't you." Then slowly turned and walked away. I think I should have said that and then run as fast as I could out of the library. It would have been very weird and Wes Anderson. I might be able to sit in on my friend Rob's drawing class and draw someone's naked body. Bodies are so beautiful. I'm so excited! It'll be great. And his instructor is this man named Paul who thinks I'm funny. Actually, he thinks Blanche DuBois is funny. Cameron Diaz is not pretty or funny. Why did the TV just say that. TV, you say so many dumb things. TV is so messed up. I just saw three commercials, one for a fancy tooth brush (what?) one for a Snickers power bar for "the energy you crave," and one for Taco Bell. So, the way I see it, my teeth aren't white enough, I should exercise more and eat disgusting energy bars that taste good now or something and eat lots of tacos until I'm "full." Eat more, exercise more and look better. I hate commercials. Man. I'm so inconsistent. Actually, I suppose I'm very consistent, because I'm consistently trying to be consistent. That works? I don't think I have anything else to say. I feel terrible in my brain. My brain feels terrible terrible terrible. Terrible. Just terrible. Terrible. Last night I writhed on the floor at my job. No on was there, so it was okay, I guess. I hate writhing and crying on the cold, tile floor. I love air planes though. They amaze me, and make me tear up. I feel so small. I feel like I live in such a strange time. I've been doing a lot of "research" on Elliot Smith for my magazine, which I'm thinking about calling Your Favorite Band Sucks magazine; issue one. Whadya think? It's from a t-shirt. Things move to fast for me. Everything is so quick and flashy. Lauren thinks I'm crazy. I think she's worried about me, actually I know she is because she said she is. She says I pass things off as funny, which I do. For instance, walking around for four hours, talking to myself, and not wearing shoes. It's so easy to pass that off as hilarious, so I do. Because it's easier to deal with in that light. So let's let things be funny for now, but when I'm institutionalized, let's not be surprised. UUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I need to drink faster.