why do i feel like people are avoiding me?
hiding behind brick walls
it's funny though
because they laugh so loud
don't you think
i can hear you?

i've never felt so good
about feeling so bad
every terrible fear
all these poor and bleak thoughts
have finally made me feel
at all

blah blah
blah

i did have important things to say about how good i felt, but not anymore
i bleached my teeth
and attempted to keep up with traffic
for no good reason

i'm wearing a new coat
that i didn't buy
but it feels like i might
look good
and i did when i was smiling

i've been where you've all been
you're wrong
my thoughts aren't normal
they aren't like everyone else's

and i was going to thank you
and show so much gratitude

you're just what i need right now

something to be mad at

i felt so hopeful and fulfilled
for fifteen minutes
i stared into that mirror
and saw something great
what the fuck was running through my mind then
i remember
all the notions of contentment
i can recite them like verse
in my head and through my fingers
but now they don't mean a thing