i just watched this delightful documentary about martin scorsese. it was really interesting. i have a lot more of an appreciation from him now. him and robert denero, is that spelled right? because i watched "raging bull" tonight. wow. i knew they were marvelous, but that just gave them a bit more. if i have a kid someday, i want to name it lazlow. girl or boy. i think that'd be great. today has been absolutely terrible, but really inspirational. it seems that there shouldn't be anymore toying around with individuality. if that makes sense. there's so much to do. there's so much to get done in life. we need to make sure these things happen. you know. it's so easy to forget or neglect. sometimes i don't know where i am, or what's going on. i feel like i don't know how to live sometimes. and i question the "okayness" of that. but quite honestly, i don't know what it takes. uuuhgh. i'm so caught up right now. it's great. i'm so caught up. i don't even know what i'm talking about. get me out of here. i need to get out of here. that's all.