We're just holding on to nothing
To see how long nothing lasts

that's one of my favorite song lyrics. i'm sad, so i'm listening to sea change. that always seems to do the trick. feeding that melancholy. it's comforting. i'm also really tired. that may be why i'm sad. i'm really tired. i feel like a little kid who didn't get their nap, and now i'm rubbing my eyes and frowning and moaning a little. whimper. i feel strange. i think i want to hide in my house for a few days. tomorrow i have to look for a second job, so that i can make rent. i think it'll work out okay. it shouldn't be too incredibly hard, just this first payment, because i have to make a school payment at the exact same time. so i am certainly pressing myself. but oh well. i like the challenge. except for when i get stressed and break out in hives. i can make the payments with the job i have now, but i have to save for this summer. i don't like sad. or tired, because i'm hearing shit. for some reason i considered staying up all night, but i'm not going to do that. bad idea. no fun. no fun at all. yeah, but i keep thinking about things that make me sad, and i'd like to stop. i'd like to get off this now, thank you. i hate itchy eyes. sad eyes. i'm going to finish my job now, so that i can go home and to bed with me. i feel very overwhelmed with emotion right now. not all bad emotions, actually some very lovely ones. but they are disrupting the interior of my lonely brain. it's dark in there. and full of moths.

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Go to sleep
We're so tired now
Altogether in a snake pit of souls
New days
Throw your chains away
Try to hang your hopes on the wind

Little one
Just a little way
Today all we need is waiting

Night rise
Like the evening prize
In a turnstile backwards we fly
Cold bones
Tied together by
Black ropes we pulled from a [sleigh]

Little one
Just a little way
Today all of the dreams are waking

Can't stand on crooked legs
I'm cross-eyed to the wall
In these harbor lights
Satellites [explode]

Drown, drown
Sailors run aground
In a seachange nothing is safe
Strange waves
Push us every way
In a stolen boat we'll float away

Little one
Just a little way
Today all we need waiting

Little one
Just a little way
Today all of the dreams are waking

Little one
Hold on
All of the dreams are waking

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