i don't know you. i don't know what's going on. i only recognize my own familiar ache that has lost its original contact. and the empty, confused nights of substance abuse. i have no idea where i am. idontknowwhatsgoingon.

misplaced inhibitions
a milky muttering fills the space behind
my head, so lost and soft
secretly stark naked in the dark
drinking quickly on accident
eating vertebra
like so many moments
always out of place and shrill
i am getting to the point where
i cannot stand my own processes
or anyone else's
while the flashing lights
make memories i feel are already dead.
can't help it
still shots for wild animals
don't mean much to me
when are we not so wild
it seems everyone is aching to live
prey and capture
i'm not sure what that means actually
for me either, unmemorable
but always aching too
it makes me want god so badly
something to take me
out of dissatisfaction and substance
or to have strip mall babies
or a forest to live in
the dirt will eat me up
all the books will end somewhere
the sounds will stop
and breath forgotten