i miss them more when they leave first
an upper hand against me
never
even the ones i don't know
they hold the heaviest longing
i feel like i could be alive again
or at least myself, who i had never thought of losing

back to the fickleness of nights
everything will die down outside
and within me be so terrifying
changing bad habits
into worse ones
letting the days go
and giving up
my sidewalk on the face, just staring
i'm tired of the baths and thebooze
cigarettes because even if i lost myself
at least that would be something